Eighteen Years of Torturing!

Carly (me) making a sugar bed in 2012

Sugar – Sugarer – Sugarist
Its great being a Bikini Sugarer. A Waxer, a Hair Removal Specialist, or my personal favorite, Mistress of Pain. I have been waxing of peoples private parts since I was fifteen. I tested out of high school early and my mom made me either go to school or get a job. One was significantly less scary than the other. So barley a teenager, off I went to beauty school. I was such a baby, like literally a child. And I was surrounded by women of all ages and incredible stories. Recently divorced, maybe going through a mid life crisis, girls in there twenties looking for a good trade, and my personal favorite the rich housewife. I think they liked “spas” and wanted to hang out in one all day. I entered school pre 911, I remember watching the news with my fellow ladies in our wax room on that day. It was a long time ago, is what Im trying to say, and industry was very different. There was a salon or spa making money on every corner of Palm Springs where I grew up. So going into the facial business seemed like a great idea! I literally couldn’t give them away these days, people don’t have the time or money. Thats why Sugaring kicks ass, because it is a service that immediately makes you feel clean and beautiful. Its organic and is even better when you make it your self (I do).

So the Tomboy goes to beauty school, and I hated facials. I was the type, that never really wore a bunch of makeup and was born with pretty great skin. (Until I got Lupus on my face that is) So you can’t hate me to much! I am not being conceded here, any successful esthetician is usually some kind of “ethnic”. Olive or brown skin girls got great complexion! The darker the skin the more oil it naturally creates and holds, and the less it shows the cracks and damage. So there I was, at beauty school, learning about facials and make up and other stupid stuff. And my Romanian teachers are showing us how to “Sell” people crap they don’t need. My teacher said, people love hearing how “they are special and have special skin” and therefore cannot go without facials every day or whatever. This was the moment I thought, oh I’m gonna suck at this.

I would like to think that I was born a very moral person, but thats only kind of true. I mean we try, but come on. I’m not saying I’m the devil, I am actually very socially minded. But the truth is I have always valued “being the good girl”, by saving people money, telling a secret factoid, or giving good advise. So I hated selling fake products, that did nothing but empty your wallet. Even the products I sell now, I just recommend for you them to buy them online. Because I care more about results and honesty then most things. And I know the real value of a waxer or sugarer, is her experience and skill.

My sister once said, why do you have to correct people all the time? Oh sisters, right?  While my best buddy said, “I love how you help strangers find there way” so depending on how annoying I am being this is either a good thing or a bad thing.

Carly Fierce Face

But I had this sort of moment where I figured out who I was gonna be. I think you have a lot of them when your in your teens years, especially if you were like me and thrown into the fire. I remember my Step Dad letting us wax his legs at beauty school. This a man who could be easy shoot accidentally if he walked around the forest without a shirt on. We killed Sash-quash, they would say! It’s so beautiful when you figure out these little pieces of who your gonna be when you “grow up”. Being just a little woman, and automatically standing up for what you believe to be right. You don’t know even know its happening at the time, you just see it in hindsight. Or you mess up and you think back and say, I’m not going to do that again. Slowing figuring out where you shine, and gravitating towards that. I’m still gravitating around the world myself, and I hope I never stop.

I remember being at my moms work christmas party, and one of her coworkers who had sort of seen me grow up, was shocked at my career choice. I was a girl in his eyes that could never do something as interactive as talk to strangers. So although no one had asked me to be brave yet in my fifteen years of life, I found out I could be through waxing. I was titled a very common term the WAX QUEEN, but at the time it was the first time I had heard it and I was blown away. I’m a queen at something, at last! A queen! How amazing for a shy little princess who used to talk to her pet chickens.

Sugaring is weird. You apply this sticky stuff to human skin, on vulnerable hairs that have lived their last days on the legs they came in with. And you are told to yank with all your strength in a smooth parallel motion. You have to be able to hurt someone to help someone. Hurt to Help. Thats why a lot of waxers are what I like to call “bitches”. We are difficult, we are firm in our believes. Your wrong, we are right. So on behalf of all of us, I would to apologies to society. I have found that it is about half of all people that can do this “pressure thing”. Some cannot pull hairs off, they pull all slowly and the person who volunteered is looking for the door. These people cannot yank a bandage off, and they do a pretty crap job at puncturing the skin when taking blood. In all industry and aspects of life, there are people that are comfortable applying pressure and those who would rather not at all. It’s as if they do not want the burden of causing discomfort. Because you have to be able to turn off your empathy for a quick second or something. People who are very much on the other side of the pressure/not pressure graph sometimes say hurtful things to me. They say, “You must be a bit of a sadist to do this” or “You like hurting people”. I have always thought, I don’t like it, I’m just the most qualified. I am doing you a favor by not letting someone else hurt you more.

I’m not sure what it is, but my friends that refuse to apply the pressure, are really great at other things. They are excellent at listening and being compassionate. Maybe they are more sensitive or it might be a confidence/ego thing. But I jokingly say when my friends get sick, you want that bitchy nurse to take your blood not the one that is super sweet.

IVIG treatment & the day Kona came home

I have been a hair removal expert for eighteen years, and thats a really long time when your just a tad over thirty. Like so little, like an inch over thirty. Sometimes I don’t even notice I’m ripping out hair anymore. I forget y’all are naked. I just do it Sugaring automatically. I could do it blindfolded! You know what I notice everyday, and am grateful for everyday… my peoples. My clients, and my pals. I spend more time with my clients then anything else, and thats awesome! I notice when they are sad, and I try to make them laugh. Some days I really kill it (like a comedian). They notice when I am lonely and try to cheer me up. I don’t enjoy torturing, but I’m great at it. 

lupus rash 2013 & makeup!
Thanks beauty school!

My clients have visited me with a swollen lupus face, which brought me so much pain and embarrassment I could not even describe it. I am so grateful to the love and kindness you all gave me. Treating me with love and respect, and supporting me got me through the worst of it. Women have an instinctual desire to help our wounded sisters, especially when there are awesome. And generally, we are all awesome. Its why we stop when we see someone crying, or you know run away depending on how were doing that day. My clients have come in when I had my IV port stuck under a bandage in my arm. They have listened when I described lupus and how it effects a lot of women in the world. We always chat about very genuine things, and so rarely just about the weather. I have always been a believer of “big talk” over small talk. Our time on earth connecting with each other is so fleeting and precious, I just want to be in it, with everyone I meet. And you really can, if you walk into a conversation without judgment and a sense of understanding. You can talk about politics, religion, love, or to worst kind of pains. Even worse than a Brazilian!

When first timers come in all scared for there first Brazilian, I say this. You’re a woman, your stronger than you think, and we were built to survive pain. From making babies, to being the smaller sex, we have always had a struggle. We aren’t just built for pain, we are built to endure it. Men are to but for different reasons.

I am a sugarer. Sugar-er. Errrrrr. But after eighteen years, like you, I am more than one thing. We are more then the job we claim  as our title. Every winter the shop slows down a bit and I get into some cleaning and some soul searching. I have decided that I am going to be a writer. I am going to get better after every sentence I complete . I have always wanted to write professionally, and I have the ability to fail and get up again. My new favorite person (Brene Brown) talks about people who are successful are comfortable failing. How those who do not give up and are okay with failure, are the ones who make it. I may have failed, but I am not a failure is the mindset. I have always been excellent at being terrible at stuff. I have baked more things for my trash can than my friends. Now I bake wedding cakes for friends. So thats my survival plan for the winter. I hope today you look at something you have always wanted to do and just do it. It’s not about being the best, it is about the love of that thing you’re trying not to suck at anymore. If your not sure what you love, just keep doing anything and everything aimlessly until you figure it out. I am so lucky to love a bunch of stuff, and a bunch of incredible people thanks to sugaring.

The universe rewards those who don’t give up. So go bake a crap cake! 

BFF took this pic 2012 the day of our “sugar shoot”

Thanks for reading Sugar Pies